He heals the brokenhearted. And binds up their wounds. – Psalm 147:3
The little reed, bending to the force of the wind, soon stood upright again when the storm had passed over. – Aesop
I walked around for a week with the flu before I crawled to the doctor’s office for a diagnosis. The mommy grind is a tough battle to shake. I resist defining myself as both mother and patient and have been known to perform the same dance, the one where I spin the plates in the hamster wheel, even when I know how dangerous it can be.
I didn’t fall off the wheel. I wouldn’t. My recent joy of running has spilled over and complements the state of my motherhood. I’m always running. I had to be taken off, by force. Blown over and down to bow as it were, at the feet of my maker. We aren’t meant for the crazy pace we keep. A rush of wind in the form of sickness is usually the last attempt at communication. It’s His relentless love at work to take us down “by any means necessary” – that we might hear.
Gods memo to take a break will not be ignored.
I spent the next week sequestered on a couch to avoid hugs and kisses from my lovelies.
My recovery was slow. A soul walk on a path of white-hot coals to a destination I didn’t know. I blind walked. I crawled and at night I cried. I wondered if my body had the goods to restore itself. I questioned the hand that could ignite the healing I needed. This was divine work, I worried I wasn’t worthy. Healing seemed so far off I doubted.
Long days with too little to do gave my heart room to stray. By days end, I slept fitfully. I couldn’t rest. Fueled by fever I dreamed. Vivid, lucid .. the kind of dreams I couldn’t escape. Unending.
And then one morning I woke, free from the fog, giving grace to the wind. The internal shift had taken place that allowed me to believe I’d get better. I knew then my illness was more than a common virus. My influenza type A was a little of the healing of a broken heart, the binding of a few wounds, the keeping of my soul … that it would prosper, that I might rest.
Let your handmaiden find grace in your sight…#GiveMeGrace