Blog : Give Me Grace

Give Me Grace : Loving God with My Mind

Posted on October 17, 2015October 18, 2015 by lisha epperson

“Christianity is not a matter of handing down doctrine or tradition but of a life, again and again, kindled afresh, and now burning with a flame of its own.” – Adolf Harnack

“The more we know of God, the more unreservedly we will trust him; the greater our progress in theology, the simpler and more child-like will be our faith” – J. Gresham Machen

“To clasp the hands in prayer is the beginning of an uprising against the disorder of the world.” – Karl Barth

“When reason has followed its road to the end, the point of crisis is reached and man is brought to the great question mark over his own existence.” – Rudolf Karl Bultmann

I knew I’d love my systematic theology professor when on the first day of class, he encouraged me to love God with my mind. The off-putting looks I got from some when sharing my attendance at seminary made me uncomfortable. I knew God sent me. He opened every possible door and sealed my heart with the peace and courage I’d need to begin a new adventure but I admit my concern. Whenever I got that “are you sure you know what you’re doing” look – it bugged me. Any feeling of doubt was squashed when my professor expressed at length, his vision for the students in his class.

from my notes that day…

Love God with your mind. Make up your own mind from the various perspectives presented. The goal is to motivate you to think for yourself. Find your own theological voice. Read. Observe. Pay attention. Theology is loving God with your mind.

I thought immediately of the scripture in Luke 10:27 where we are called to an all-encompassing love – heart, soul and mind and the teaching of a former pastor who continually admonished the congregation to “go to the word, see and read it for yourself. you’ll learn to love the word of God.” God is found, in His word. I’m reading it and the power of the holy spirit is helping me understand it.

I’m growing and every time I sit down to study I whisper a new prayer – Lord, help me love you with my mind.

I’m preparing for midterms next week.

Let your our handmaiden find grace in your sight…#GiveMeGrace

♥

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Give Me Grace : Every Little Thing

Posted on October 10, 2015October 11, 2015 by lisha epperson

I polished my nails to mimic the cute shots Deidra posts of her current reading on Facebook. Alright I can’t touch her fabulousness – I only painted one. #everylittlething

It’s one thing to stand in front of God and the entire church and make a promise. It’s quite another thing to have God call you on that vow.
from Every Little Thing by Deidra Riggs

I’m dabbling in seminary this year, the two classes, Old Testament and Systematic Theology are sandwiched weekly, between a heavy dose of required reading. A tutor even questioned my pairing of classes when I lamented my situation. He would never recommend such a combination. Sigh. That’s another story.

I haven’t read anything beyond the Bible in the past month. I’ve mulled over Song of Songs for a week and stood drop jawed over all the things I’ve missed. The beauty, the questions, the contradictions and couplings. I’ve read selected chapters from a sea of books with titles like Black Liberation and Black Theology and a handful of important works from scholars, who like me, seem to enjoy this processing of faith.

It’s a lot of work – this reading and wrestling. Good work to be sure … just lots of it.

A third year student suggested I make time for other selections, give my mind a break with things that feel easy. She suggested I fill my soul with words and stories from sources of my choosing. I took her advice.

After vegging out on the 6th season of The Good Wife, I sank into the comfort of a well-worn futon with a copy of Every Little Thing by Deidra Riggs. I did something I had not done in a long while. I picked up her book with the goal of wild abandoned reading. I asked God to speak to me as I carefully handled its crisp new cover – randomly fingered its newly printed pages – Lord, give me a word.

I believe in a right now word, a word that takes you by surprise. I believe in a word that supernaturally finds you when you open a bible or book. I said a prayer and asked God to show me where to start.

*******

My love and I will attend a marriage counseling session tonight – the first in too many years. We’re racing toward the 20 year mark and suffering from the tension of too much and not enough. We’re tired. The easy breezy feeling of love is gone. Seeping through cracks we’ve left unattended our love bubble’s deflating. Our sanctuary, the one with 4 bedrooms and as many children feels more and more like an airless chamber. We’re spent. Breathless. It’s been hard.

But there is hope.

Going to counseling feels like connecting with life support. In mid-life/ mid-marriage we’re wondering how people do this thing called forever but we trust God for an answer – to breathe life, to restore.

So these words :
It’s one thing to stand in front of God and the entire church and make a promise. It’s quite another thing to have God call you on that vow. – hit the home of my heart.

I didn’t get beyond those words. I read them over and over finishing with a resigned “vow” and the deep release of a much-needed exhale. A prayer. It’s where I started and stopped for today – meditating on my promise of forever and how I’d make good on a covenant was enough.

This page in our wedded journey feels like God’s calling me on a vow I made. It was one thing to stand in front of our family and friends and confess Christ as we found Him in each other. It’s another thing to live that commitment. Until death do us part is a promise, a covenant we’re not willing to break but we’re definitely being called on it.

I’m embarrassed to admit our shortcomings but even in this, in admitting my vulnerability – I know He is at work.

So much amen Deidra!
I can’t wait to read more.
EVERY little thing is available on Amazon! Go get it!

Let your handmaiden find grace in your sight…#GiveMeGrace

♥

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Give Me Grace : Renaissance Woman

Posted on October 4, 2015October 4, 2015 by lisha epperson

Renaissance IMG_5891 — Renaissance Women

When I visited renaissance church a year ago, I loved their down to earth, practical fellowship. A vibrant gathering of believers in a new church, especially one I could walk to is a god send. Its something I need to make church attendance a reality for my family. Beyond the basics like solid preaching and a spirit of integrity I need a church I can get to with four children in tow without the drama of a major commute.

After 16 years in one church and 9 in another we were homeless. More important, we felt the loss of a community of believers. Streaming service online is a gift of the times we live, but it doesn’t take the place of actual attendance. We needed a community. We needed accountability. We needed a family.

Renaissance was great but I kept wondering how I’d fit in among the newly married couples and singles mostly under 30. My teens connected with the approachable style of the pastors teaching. My littles felt at home in the children’s ministry. We were in and out by 12:30pm. Church, after a year of dwindling attendance, felt like a rhythm again, a family ritual we could settle into with a fair amount of regularity.

We kept coming back.

Starting over is hard and part of me is still a girl unfolding, struggling to make connections, finding my way. I missed being plugged in with women my age. I missed dance ministry. I missed commitment beyond the transitory greetings we exchanged at the end of service. Many of the things I love about the church also got in the way of the engagement I sought. It was easy to breeze in and out without feeling like we were part of the community.

When I was invited to be a guest speaker at the churches 1st women’s fellowship I said yes. Our 14 year journey through infertility and adoption is my God story. What I learned in the wilderness and the sweet places of His presence compels me to share. I’ve felt gods tug on my heart to tell the story.

Yesterday’s event was confirmation of that call. I felt in my element – hand-picked and placed for such a time as this. In the middle of that God whispered my belonging, settled every question about where I am and why.

As much as I still feel like I’m figuring this faith life out I’m embracing my role as a Titus 2 woman. And God is using me where I am. Midlife finds me starting over again, beginning anew – but this time in the middle. I am a Renaissance woman, embracing a season of heightened awareness and activity.

Maybe I’ve resisted it, maybe it’s the grind of getting comfortable in a new role. Whatever it is, I remember watching the women ahead of me. In high school it was my sweethearts older sister who attended college in Connecticut. Eavesdropping on her independence helped me imagine a world where I’d take center stage as woman. During my dancing years I kept an eye on a friend who chose marriage and family first. To me, she was a real grown up, sensible and smart where I felt flighty, not quite ready to commit to anything beyond a career. Now I trail the brilliance of the churches matriarch. I’m completely dazzled by the wisdom and grace of Gail Rice and listen hard when she speaks.

After my session I sat between her and a young woman figuring out life in the city as a new New Yorker. It felt like I was right where I needed to be – in the middle, in community with His daughters. All of them.

It felt like home.

Let your handmaiden find grace in your sight … #GiveMeGrace

♥

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Give Me Grace : Give Me Grace

Posted on September 26, 2015September 26, 2015 by lisha epperson

Give Me Grace

“Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it finds its rest in thee.” – Augustine of Hippo – Confessions

So then, there remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God, for whoever has entered God’s rest has also rested from his works as God did from his. Let us therefore strive to enter that rest, so that no one may fall by the same sort of disobedience. – Hebrews 4:9-11

“Sabbath observance invites us to stop. It invites us to rest. It asks us to notice that while we rest, the world continues without our help. It invites us to delight in the world’s beauty and abundance.”
– Wendell Berry

read this post on the wisdom of sabbath by Tim Keller

and this was a surprise

By the voice of his spirit to my soul , today is a day of rest

Let your handmaiden find grace in your sight … #GiveMeGrace

♥

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