Muse : be absorbed in thought, ponder, consider, think over/about, mull over, reflect on, contemplate, turn over in one’s mind, chew over, give some thought to, cogitate on; to consider thoughtfully and thoroughly
I will meditate also upon all thy work, and muse on thy doings. – JPS Tanakh 1917
My soul proclaims the greatness of God, my spirit rejoices in God. – Luke 1: 46-47
“I said to my soul, be still and wait without hope, for hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love, for love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith, but the faith and the love are all in the waiting. Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought: So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.” ― T.S. Eliot
“An awake heart is like a sky that pours light.” – Hāfez
The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime; and His song will be with me in the night, a prayer to the God of my life. – Psalm 42:8
Be who God meant you to be and you’ll set the world on fire. – Catherine of Siena
Let your handmaiden find grace in your sight … #GiveMeGrace
She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” – Genesis 16:13 NIV
If you live long enough you learn that everything in life isn’t fair. It’s what you do with what you’re given that counts. Fair is a word spiritually mature people know requires a fair measure of grace. Fair isn’t a word you use in the wilderness.
Today I’m thinking about Hagar. Her position as a surrogate to produce an heir for Abraham and Sarah. Her subsequent escape from the abuse of her mistress when living with the woman who bore the child she couldn’t carry became too hard. Her confrontation with an angel when she tries to return home. Hagar and the bread and water when she goes into exile. Her crying baby.
Hagar is in the wilderness.
And sometimes, even when you want to – you can’t go home.
I read interpretations from Nicole Simopoulous and Riffat Hassan for a class I’m taking on the Old Testament. We’re studying feminism and religion and are considering, in this part of the class, the story of Hagar. Hagar as divorcee, Hagar as mistress, Hagar as exile or exploited worker. Hagar as heroine.
After reading the many inspired speculations and creative interpretations of her story, I’m struck with the enduring message of hope. In her loneliness, rejection, fear and betrayal what Hagar needs is hope. She was carrying the child of a Hebrew man. Maybe Hagar couldn’t go home. Maybe the angel asked her to go back to create some semblance of beauty from the ashes of her situation. Hagar needed hope.
She finds it in the wilderness.
Hagar’s encounter with the angel in the wilderness resulted in a yes. She was instructed to go back and she did. Hagar said yes. She said yes because in her hurt and disappointment she felt seen. The angels presence assured her of Gods plan for her life – and that’s all any of us wants. El Roi, the God who sees her in the wilderness, who asks her to let her pain be used for something greater, the God who asked her to trust him in her doubt, to in her wandering say yes. The God who sees, walked with her in her suffering.
Hagar’s is a life surrendered.
So she went back.
Her story doesn’t end there. She returns and is later in the story, asked to leave. And she says yes again. Hagar, in this respect is, as described by Riffat Hassan, “a victor who, with the help of God and her own initiative, is able to transform a wilderness into the cradle of a new world dedicated to the fulfillment of Gods purpose on Earth.”
Hagar’s life is the offering.
Hagar’s experience with God in the wilderness made the difference.
Her story ministers the power of a God encounter.
Hagar was seen. Hagar was known. Hagar saw god.
My interpretation isn’t creative, it’s classic. Hagar is every woman as she walks through a wilderness.
On Tuesday, I’ll read a spoken word piece and dance this interpretation for my classmates as part of a graded presentation. Please keep me in prayer.
Let your handmaiden find grace in your sight…#GiveMeGrace
What a weekend! I’ll have more to share but for now I’ll offer a glimpse of the goodness that was the Raising Generations Today Conference. September McCarthy is the real deal, Lisa Jo preached straight to my heart and Julie Wilson was “my person” in my first session, the friendly and familiar that put my heart at ease. And Ellie Holcomb sang one of my favorite songs.
snippets from my message ….
The wilderness is a land of deserts and pits, it is the land of drought and deep darkness The wilderness is dark and lonely. No one lives there. But in the wilderness you’ll learn things you can’t learn anywhere else. In the wilderness you’ll hear and receive. In the wilderness you’ll wrestle. In the wilderness you’ll be renamed.
Blessed are you … who believed – that God could breathe life into your situation, that he would sit with you, Immanuel, god with us, in you. And you would believe it. No matter what it looked like. Especially if it looked different from what you imagined.
Allow your spirit to respond to the work God does in others. Get excited. Let your dream respond to the spirit that says yes.
It was an amazing learning experience and so much fun … take a look …
Sharing on the wilderness of waiting. #infertility #adoption #dreams – Raising Generations TodayThanks for being my person Julie! What a gift you were!It’s all about the details. #RGTEmbrace201Enjoying one of the many giveaways at the conference – with Kim HylandMy favorite? “The Valley” – with Ellie HolcombLisa Jo and I with the gracious visionary behind the dream at Raising Generations Today, September McCarthy
First in real life meetings with these two sweet ladies! – Crystal Stine and Denise Hughes
I had a great time at the Raising Generations Today conference. Thanks so much for the invitation September!
Let your handmaiden find grace in your sight…#GiveMeGrace
I told Jesus be alright if you change my name if you change my name – Roberta Flack
“Christianity hasn’t been tried and found empty…it has been found difficult and left untried.” – G.K. Chesterton
I started seminary this fall. The three years long whisper turned roar lead me to apply when I gathered the courage to open my mouth – to share the dream with a friend.
Each day is different. The mile and a half walk to school lends time for a thoughtful but heavy processing of the day before. Slow, purposeful steps help me up the hill. The goal? Establish my footing … tread lightly. The Bible I carry feels like an explosive in my bag. A volatile, combustible expression of a radical love far deeper and more complex than I’ve ever known. I’ve based my entire adult life on a relationship with its truth and it feels like we’re meeting for the first time.
I simultaneously resist and lean into this new world.
On hard days I imagine a cluster of ideas wound around my neck, bound together like a string of pearls that don’t belong to me. They don’t fit. They don’t feel right, they don’t feel true. Reflex pulls my hand toward my throat. Shocked by ancient myths and multiple voices I hold each precious stone before letting it fall to the floor.
But the truth is a flame I can’t blow out. The wildfire of the word lights my way and by grace, I nimbly weave myself around its beautiful mythical mystery.
The truth is an inferno. An incandescent flame. In the wake of the blaze – ashes, the charred remnants of a faith now tried. A faith that is gold.
This is the place of deconstruction, a critical analysis of my hearts philosophy. It is the perfect place for God to unravel and restore.
A few weeks as a seminary student and I’m pulling back layers of stories I’ve passionately connected to for more than 20 years. I’m surprised by what I’ve not noticed. I’m healed by what I feel. My eyes are opened – to see. Empathically. My eyes are opened to feel and experience a personal vulnerability. And God is there in the awakening, my compass and guide.
This is the awakening to a new identity. And I choose God. Again.
