Blog : Give Me Grace - Page 67 of 101

For When It Feels Like The First Time :: more Advent in the City

Posted on December 14, 2013December 16, 2013 by lisha epperson

listening, hearing…for the first time
photo : Flickr CC by Acredinia

And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word. And the angel departed from her – Luke 1:38

In the car the other day I heard a song for the first time. After dropping Ila off at the rink, I sat alone and listened to my favorite Christmas radio station before returning to the family grind upstairs. Mary Did You Know? The version by Cee Lo Green , is featured in the mini series “The Bible” and I think they do a pretty nice job of depicting the emotions of the song. His mastery and vocal ability shine. He sings it with authority. I was happily blown away.

The song tells the startling truth of the events following Mary’s faithful obedience. It tells the story after the yes, from conception to crucifixion, the magnificent life, of her son Jesus. How her obedience to Gods plan cost her. Everything. Yet, it was our blessing. And hers.

But I’ve never really been able to appreciate this song. Actually I’ve heard and felt a little annoyed by it. Infertile girls only hear “baby” in a song like this. The painful and heart breaking journey of motherhood as played out in Mary’s life is lost on the barren woman…all she sees is the beautiful baby. So I never connected with this song….though I should have. This song is for the warriors and waiters. The long-suffering and desperate to believe – believers. If you’re struggling this holiday season, or for any reason….this song is for you.

Maybe it’s the first time focus on Advent with my family, but for some reason the lyrics came alive for me – “Mary, did you know?” I heard this – A small thing became great, your obedience and faith matter, your suffering is not in vain. Trust me…even though it hurts. I want your hard-won, intentional faith. I want it all and I WILL bless. Viewed in this light, the powerful words of this song transform a season of waiting into a brilliant promise of hope.

Tonight I heard the question. Did you know? And I received the answer. I received the encouragement to stand, even when you don’t know. The potential of our future is wrapped in our willingness to stand…especially when we don’t know. And we all have a space like that to live in..an area of our lives that makes us doubt, a corner of our hearts where disbelief reigns and try as we might to overthrow the monarchy – fear rules. We fear the future.

We can’t know the future but He promises to work it – whatever we’re going through – together for good. This song is about trust and faith as we face impossible situations. Your impossible situation may be the foundation for your greatest blessing.

The ministry message for all is – God sees the masterpiece of your life in completion. There is meaning and purpose behind every detail. He knows how your story will unfold and promises grace to see you through the hardship of obedience. Are you dreaming tonight? Of a baby, a job, a husband, a house, a book…a friendship? Don’t miss the message. Don’t miss the hope in his coming. Friend, did you know?

Have you ever felt like that? Like you’re hearing a song for the first time, even though it’s more like the hundredth? Are you in a season of waiting with a cloud of questions hanging over your future? Did you know there’s hope?

an offering to The Sunday Community , The Weekend Brew and

Hear It on Sunday Use It on Monday

Do You Have a Ladder? :: more Advent in the City

Posted on December 9, 2013December 11, 2013 by lisha epperson

I spent Sunday with Ila at a figure skating competition in Connecticut. Our team performed well, placing 5th out of 10. We came to compete and our teams performance was solid but my prayer for the day was the girls enjoy themselves. It’s easy to get lost in better, stronger, longer, faster. Competition can become a ladder. I want them to enjoy the creativity of the sport and have a good time improving their skills. I prayed they wouldn’t begin to feel the pressure of “the ladder” or see competition as another rung. I prayed for grace.

Because I have a ladder. My ladder has rungs of responsibility and relationships. There are rungs for each of my children and rung or two for my husband. A rung for the chores and the schedules and appointments. My ladder is real.

I don’t see anything wrong with the ladder per se. If I could just keep it in perspective and not feel defeated by it. A useful piece of equipment after all, ladders are designed to give us a step up or provide access to difficult to reach things. But my ladder represents all the things I have to do and rungs are added daily. I add rungs for good deeds and service, favors and holidays. Careful now, before long , I’ll add a rung for my blog and one for Advent. It’s crazy like that. I use my ladder as a marker for achievement – to categorically list my “works”. I never reach the top.

Because I never get anywhere with my ladder, I can’t help feeling spiritually defeated by it. Continually grasping for the next rung (because there’s always another) makes me feel unproductive in the worst way. I’m looking for a spiritual apex of sorts and there is none. Because the ladder was never intended as a measuring stick for my relationship with Christ or as a mode of access. In fact, as lovingly highlighted in “The Greatest Gift” by Ann Voskamp, because of Christ, we don’t need one. Not to reach him.

Ladders aren’t bad. The problem is how I use it. Ticking off items on the to do list to say “I did it”, is pointless. And meaningless work is always drudgery. I get lost in over half the rungs on my ladder. I skip-step and scale but can’t remember what I did the next day.

I pull the ladder out to complain about how many rungs I have and how tired I am. You may have a ladder of your own…in which case we’ll engage in the competition of ladders? More rungs mean I’m busy, busier than you. And busy is successful. I’m winning! Aren’t I? There I go again, trying to reach nirvana by climbing the ladder.

I’m tired of reaching. I want to put the ladder away. I want to get low with Christ and if the ladder doesn’t lead to Him…put it away.

What if we re-purposed the ladder? Ladders can be useful. Leaned against Christ, our strong tower, the rungs can remind us of his security – each step taken in faith and assurance of his presence. Each step taking us further, closer…along a grace-filled path. We can be grateful for each rung – each beautiful rung as a marker of time well spent, time spent with Him.

the ladder photo: Flickr CC oatsy40 — the ladder
photo: Flickr CC oatsy40

The ladder doesn’t fulfill and it won’t get you anywhere unless it’s laid intentionally, against the solid rock.

Do you have a ladder? Does it help or hinder? How do you manage “the rungs”?

joining Jennifer this week for #TellHisStory

Reflections on Laughter and Trust : Advent in the City – Days 6&7

Posted on December 7, 2013December 8, 2013 by lisha epperson

The past two days readings in “The Greatest Gift” by Ann Voskamp were perfectly timed. After the sorrow of the previous days hurts, I needed a moment to relax. Ann’s reflections on laughter and provision helped me remember how much He offers – in the giving of himself. Over and over again.

The certainty of Gods provision was graced to me through adoption. The adoption process is all about faith. I learned to rest and release my vision for how I thought things should be – knowing he would grant what I needed, when I needed it. I had to accept his gift…as presented, and let it go if he directed. He didn’t have to, but he proved himself.

It’s part of the process.

It’s easy to trust in the beginning. Our faith is green, tender, but strong. In the middle of the story, worn but not completely shaken, we fight to trust. After a few slammed doors and rants, fists to heaven and shoulders trembling – we succumb to His wisdom. Finally,we choose to trust him again – as we walk toward the parts of the story we can’t know. We can’t know….the future. Our trust, then, is in who holds it. Not in our emotions which change from moment to moment.

The next chapter of my story was laughter. Laughter was born of my delight and He gave me joy. As we cry out in complete contentment and assurance of His allegiance, laughter is an appropriate response. It’s the chorus call to our souls longing for inner peace.

I never tire of telling the story. How God brought laughter, when I thought the joy of birthing children would stay a mystery.

In the picture above I’m a few months shy of my 45th birthday. Birth was surreal. Mystical. Birth was scary. Birth was holy. In that moment I knew the laughter of Sarah. It echoed through me as I inhaled the reality of my DNA, a child from my womb.

Getting to that moment took 14 years. Only in the last 2, would I experience the sweet freedom of faith. Faith which allowed me to wait without stress and believe I’d be alright no matter what happened. A personal advent of sorts, where I waited for the promise in peace. The miracle of life in the coming of a child. A baby. Mine.

When I tell the story I can’t help but laugh. The surprise of such a sweet gift keeps my heart light. It tickles me to know… I was Sarah.

An offering to The Sunday Community and The Weekend Brew.

When You Hurt a Friend :: Advent in the City Days 4-5

Posted on December 6, 2013December 6, 2013 by lisha epperson

Yesterday I wrote a post that hurt a friend. Today, I’m a jumble of emotions housed under an umbrella of sorrow and regret. On a friends blog I commented that this Advent* study is “wrecking me…in the most beautiful way.” But friends, it’s still wreckage. An explosion of broken hearts and feelings…caused by words. Mine. Brittle, broken bits and shards of my best intentions. I couldn’t just hurt alone. In the wrecking I’ve hurt another.

The point of my post was solid and is still something I stand by but my delivery backfired and someone got hurt. In the end, it wasn’t worth it. The post I’m referring to was taken down and I have apologized.

The short version:

I thought I’d be creative and write a post about something that was troubling me. A situation I’ve encountered a few times online. I thought I’d pull all the scenarios together and write one post to my ” friend”. Really, I thought it was clever. The question of “Where are you?” from the previous days Advent study had presented itself and I wrote the post. In my head and heart the post was written to expose my failure. Because I hid. From the Lord first and then from her.

I was wrong. I’d wanted to connect with her for months but continually shied away. And in one moment the enemy used my subtle self-righteous judgement to hurt a friend and I fell for it. All the while thinking I was innocently “processing.”

Anyway, I’ll write more about that later, or not. God is dealing with me – loving but firm. Today was strange and hard. It was full of forgiveness and favor but many things reminded me, of the hurt I’d caused. I discovered pigeon poop on my cashmere sweater, the youngest gave me the blues…ALL DAY and I never felt centered. Not once.

But there was grace and so much favor in spite of my distress. God tied His heart to mine today and chose/ chooses each day to stay with me…even when I mess up. That is His gift to me everyday. That is his gift to you.

“Where are you?”, the question from Day 3, is still with me. Yet I’m grateful for the favor and blessing found in Days 4 and 5.

Advent in the City

I want to be a blessing so I’ll spend a little time here.

Reflect – to think quietly and calmly

Have mercy upon me, O God,
According to Your loving kindness;
According to the multitude of Your tender mercies,
Blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
And cleanse me from my sin. – Psalm 51:1-2

“I don’t know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes – it is inevitable.” – Maya Angelou

“To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.” ― C.S. Lewis

* follow along with me by reading the Advent study from “The Greatest Gift” by Ann Voskamp.

I’m linking up with Lisa Jo and my friends at Five Minute Friday for the final word prompt of the year.
The word is reflect and I thought this post was perfect. The concepts of connection, community and friendship have never felt more important. I’ve made powerful friendships and am learning the rules of the cyberspace and social media, this time painfully. January marks my 1 year blogiversary. I’m looking back on lessons learned and planning how…I’ll move forward.

Have you ever hurt a friend while blogging? Although I’ve heard warnings about it, I never thought something like this would happen. I’m told we either hurt or get hurt. Perhaps an inevitable consequence of blogging? How did you move past it? Was reconciliation possible? What did you learn? Your prayers are appreciated. For us both.