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When It’s You :: Infertility Prayer – Day #4

Posted on October 3, 2013October 4, 2013 by lisha epperson

When it’s you…

She walked in the privilege of health. Years of faithful service solidified confidence in her body’s ability to pretty much respond, on command. So why was this different? The inner work and unseen moon magic of her body…it’s monthly systematic functioning was a given. Like clockwork. Predictable. On time. Dependable. But this was different.

She felt out of control. Powerless. Juicing. Yoga. Fasting. Herbs. Intentional relaxation. A vacation. Nothing seemed to work. This time her body would not perform. Her body would not respond to her commands for conception.

“Hers” is one of many versions of the same story. Bottom line – infertility has decided to pay you a visit. Fibroid tumors, endometriosis, polycystic ovarian disease, auto immune disorders…any number of ailments can lead you on this path.

However you got here, the endless poking and prodding has revealed the problem and it’s you. Forget all the male swagger about virility and sowing seed. Women…who cannot physically bear children suffer a deep blow to their self-esteem. They scratch, claw and fight for the opportunity to give birth and will do almost anything to make it happen. When it’s you…it hurts.

You’ve been hit at your core and nothing makes sense. Not your husband, your doctor, your friends or family. The career you’ve worked so hard to build. Your concept of God has been shaken. You teeter between the familiar and unknown, wondering if you’ll recover. If you’ll ever feel a stabilizing , soul connecting foundation of faith ….solid beneath your feet.

When it’s you, you’ll wonder if you’re beautiful. You’ll feel flawed. Defective. Broken. You’ll wonder if he still loves you. Which takes us back to the lies. Friend, don’t believe it. If you believe the lie you lose. Everything.

Infertility Prayer Day #4

Cover yourself in His beautifully and wonderfully made cloak of love. Remind yourself of His great plans for you. (He really does have plans for your life that have nothing to do with whether or not you ever give birth to a baby.) Set your heart to hope and rest… knowing your story isn’t over.

Bishop T.D. Jakes makes it plain with this ( and I’ll paraphrase) “if the same problem from last year is holding you back this year…you’re in containment.” Check in with yourself – does it apply to you? Don’t let infertility negatively define who you are or the woman God has called you to be.

If you’ve given your life to Him. You are in the center of His will. He is building and shaping your life’s monument, and now, perhaps, doing a bit of the deep chiseling that’s necessary to refine His masterpiece. He loves you. Let Him complete the work.

When it’s you – believe this truth :

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:13-14

which inspired this song

You can catch up on previous posts in this series by clicking here.

Why You Have to Move Forward :: Infertility Prayer Day #3

Posted on October 2, 2013March 22, 2014 by lisha epperson

moving forward…
photo: Flickr Creative Commons

You get a year. One year before your doctor recommends beginning some form of testing or treatment. And that’s if you’re under 35. You get 6 months if you’re older or if you’ve had other reproductive issues. The clock, every clock is always ticking.

Some…shift immediately to overdrive. Propelled to action….They’re fixers. But today I’m thinking about those who freeze. When facing uncharted waters, and the uncertainty of the unknown – the subtle, almost imperceptible movement of the clock lulls them to sleep. Leaving them complacent and unable to move forward. Is that you?

An infertility diagnosis is difficult to accept. We want to relax into new marriages, be stress free about family planning – but we don’t and we can’t. For many, this has been the moment we’ve been waiting for. In many ways a huge part of our lives begins when we find ourselves on the road to motherhood. Society tells us there is so much more we can and should be. But the hint of an infertility issue awakens that primal desire…it’s God-given…innate. Infertility is unacceptable when motherhood is…who we are.

What’s the next step? What do you do when infertility leaps across the desk in your doctor’s office and slaps you in the face? What happens when your intuition tells you she’s right. There is a problem.

One step at a time. One day at a time. Infertility is particularly hard on Christian women. We’re trained to claim victory in every situation. Walk in healing and divine favor in every circumstance. This is essentially a good thing… But not when it pushes us into denial and we can’t see our way forward.

Don’t let your faith push you into a season of passiveness. To be clear…there is a time and place for waiting on God. Stillness is a beautiful thing, but it’s not to be confused with falling into a spiritual coma. We have to hear and obey God. You’ll have peace if you’ve been instructed to sit still. If not, in obedience, actively pursue your faith.

Take steps. One day at a time. No fear, resist anxiety – but please…move. Make the hard choices that never lead to regret.

Infertility Prayer Day #3

Lord, I’m scared. I always thought I’d get pregnant when I was ready. Guide my steps, give me wisdom as I make decisions about treatment and doctors. Free me from the fear that leads to missed opportunities and broken dreams. I have to hear your voice. Lead me as I prayerfully seek your will. Amen.

And of course the word…

If you listen obediently to the Voice of God, your God, and heartily obey all his commandments that I command you today, God, your God, will place you on high, high above all the nations of the world. All these blessings will come down on you and spread out beyond you because you have responded to the Voice of God, your God: God ’s blessing inside the city, God ’s blessing in the country; God ’s blessing on your children, the crops of your land, the young of your livestock, the calves of your herds, the lambs of your flocks. God ’s blessing on your basket and bread bowl; God ’s blessing in your coming in, God ’s blessing in your going out. (Deuteronomy 28:1-6 MSG)

And a little inspiration to take that first step…(after hearing from God of course)

She decided to start living the life she imagined. – Kobi Yamada

You can catch up on previous posts in this series by clicking here.

How to Process The Lie of Why :: Infertility Prayers – Day #2

Posted on October 1, 2013October 3, 2013 by lisha epperson

littleredmediumasmuse — caught in the web and wondering why
photo: Flickr Creative Commons – medium as muse

Why? This is the number one question asked by women facing infertility. Why? Some say a lesson, a lack of faith, a punishment, a curse… the result of a sin fallen world? This side of heaven you’ll probably never know. What’s true is Gods love and if you can find “it” in your answer…I’d go with that.

I hear it like this:

“Let’s keep her focused on the question of why? She’ll get lost in that and never see the cloak of love He’s prepared. She’ll run around in circles for years on that one.”

Yes! Lets wrap her in a web of lies. Tell her she’s ugly, defective, a failure. Let’s keep her eyes fixed and focused on the baby. She won’t fulfill any of His will for her life. Yes. Lets keep her eyes on the baby.”

So here’s the truth about the lie. The lie is the opposite of love. If we focus on why, we lose. If we focus on the baby we lose. “Why me” and “the baby” keep us in a lonely pool of confusion. An unanswered question and the worship of an idol leave us vulnerable, open… to an onslaught of deception.

We have to choose faith. Faith in Gods love. Despite the trials we face.

infertilityprayer11a — infertility prayer # day 2

Infertility Prayer – Day #2

Lord. Open my eyes to your perfect truth. Deliver me from facts. My struggle is real but I don’t want to get lost. I don’t want to miss…YOU. Remind me to use your word as a shield against the lies. I receive your truth, your word…your love.

a little truth for today…

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Romans 8:37-39
No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.
And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

You can catch up with previous posts in this series by clicking here.

The Process, The Promise :: 31 Days of Infertility Prayers

Posted on September 30, 2013January 10, 2014 by lisha epperson

31 Days of Infertility Prayers ????

A few weeks ago The Lord gave me a vision to write a series of infertility prayers. I share them on Twitter and Facebook and have prayed about compiling them in a real talk devotional. I’m not a minister or preacher. I am a woman and lover of God. I am a daughter, sister, friend, aunt, wife, stepmother, godmother….mother. I’m an encourager. I lived infertility. I explored her complexities, engaged in heated debates and heart to hearts. I stood toe to toe with her in the ring of fire called birth. We have history.

This month I stepped into a leadership position with the (in)courage community group THRIVE. It’s rekindled my passion for the hearts of women facing the faith-shattering battle of infertility. The women inspire me. Although I’ve done my time in the trenches I feel compelled to stand with them at the front line. I’ll write, whisper and shout words of encouragement. I will pray.

During the month of October I’ll “write the vision and make it plain” as I join The Nester for 31 days of journaling, processing, and praying. I started my blog with this topic and have since, explored other areas that touch my heart as a modern Christian woman. Honestly, I struggle sometimes with whether or not I can sustain a blog about infertility. It’s a specific topic with a small pool of viewers. But I know you’re out there. I saw you. I see you. My heart holds a place for you and for you, I write. I scribble notes of hope on tear-stained walls. Inscribe His message of love on the palm of your hand. Because you have to know. You’ve got to know. You. Are. Loved. You have not been forgotten.

This is the first post in the series The Process, The Promise :: 31 Days of Infertility Prayers. It is inspired by and written as encouragement for women facing infertility – but the essence of these reflections can be applied to other areas of life. They are universal truths. Use them. Share them. I’ll add a new post everyday.